Almost A Kiss
by Marla's Lost
Summary: It's the PARTY of the year and Jackie could only attend if Eric was her date. The annual LOPP masquerade party and it's there that Jackie learns that sometimes a kiss is better if it isn't a kiss...
1. Chapter 1 Inviting the Devil

**Author Note:**_ Okay – so I said I was __**not**__ going to do another Jackie/Eric story because I had simply ran out of plots and ideas and then I got sidetracked on my other story so….I was reading some of my old stuff and all of a sudden this weird crazy storyline popped into my head and before you know it I had 20 pages written so…if this seems weird and out of character, well….enjoy! I don't know when I'll get another brainstorm again._

**Almost a Kiss**

**Chapter 01** – Inviting the Devil

T7S

"I don't know...it would just be too weird and freaky."

Eric replied, "Oh, you mean like us? Friends of friends…my enemy?"

Begrudgingly, Jackie smiled. "Yes. I can't go to a Halloween party with my ex-boyfriend and other ex-boyfriend's best friend. Besides, what would your girlfriend think?"

Eric tapped a finger against his chin. "Ah...yes...what would my ex-girlfriend think of me taking the town witch - I'm sorry _goblin_, because you're so short...taking the enemy to a Ladies Of Point Place sponsored Halloween Masquerade Ball because my mommy said if I didn't, I wouldn't get protein in my dinner for the next three months and you are the only available troll I can think of."

Jackie frowned. How did Eric Forman know she was dateless and didn't get an invite to the LOPP party? Kitty Forman got one every year. Did she have to be old to get one? This was THE party not to be missed at least for this year. Jackie felt like stomping her foot and whining but that really wouldn't help anything. Instead, she calmly and assertively replied, "You can be my date but we are going as dance partners. I don't want to end up doing the waltz with some fat divorced Point Place banker or some pimply faced nephew of the ladies club. You will be...acceptable."

Eric frowned. _Acceptable_? What the hell was acceptable all about? "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

Jackie tossed her hair over her shoulder, "Whatever...I have to go to the Mall and look for a costume. I'm assuming you'll be going as something Star Wars? Let me say I am NOT going as Princess Leia so get that out of your head immediately." With that said, Jackie walked with a spring in her step up the basement stairs and out of sight.

Eric collapsed on the comfy yellow loveseat. Why did it feel like he'd just run a marathon? Acceptable? He was Eric Forman- he was more than acceptable! Maybe he should have asked Big Rhonda - everyone knew she was single.

T7S

Jackie sat in front of her 100 watt light-up makeup mirror and dotted some beige foundation under her eyes. Imagine Eric Forman inviting her to a party. Sheesh, she was so much better than a LOPP party but crap, if she wasn't there then that might be bad for her reputation! How was she supposed to sell Tupperware, Princess House Crystal and Avon if she didn't go where the customers were? Those rich old biddies at the Ladies of Point Place were some of her best clients. Besides, if she sold another $200 she would get the Princess House Etched Hostess Gift Serving Tray. It was just beautiful and she could use it in her dream home while she served finger sandwiches and green olives.

The Tupperware was a fluke - probably something she inherited while living with Donna and Bob or eating leftovers with Kitty Forman. When Jackie got her first catalogue she was intrigued...then when she had her first party and saw all the money homemakers willingly spent on a bunch of plastic bowls...Jackie Burkhart had found her niche. Cheese Maiden no more! This time she was selling a product that helped make a kitchen functional, a living room beautiful and cosmetics to make ugly women to feel gorgeous.

She was a saleslady and she was good at it!

T7S

Eric slammed the car door shut and trudged up the flagstone path to Sheldon Guyver's house. The little fifth grade terror needed a tutor in History and Mr. Guyver's pockets were deep. When Eric helped Sheldon's standing "D" move up to a "C", Eric got a $100 bonus on the side. When Guyver's golf buddies found out that Eric Forman, son of the infamous grouch Red Forman, was a splendid tutor - the job became a full time and weekend position. Eric was once asked about why he didn't become a full fledged teacher and he replied that tutoring gave him the opportunity to work his own hours and be his own boss. He didn't want to add that a lot of it was "under the table" cash and that was being used to save for his own Star Wars themed memorabilia shop.

Sidestepping that trip to Africa was the smartest move he'd ever made in his non-career. Needless to say, Donna thought he was leaving and gave him a special "goodbye" gift many times over and his mom cried while Red gave him a coveted pocket knife. Yet when he started to board the plane, it was like old Ben Kenobi was telling him, "_The Force is not strong with this plane...boy_." Eric opted out and asked for a later flight. Later, he'd heard from an acquaintance that the group he was supposed to have gone with was missing…supposedly somewhere in the hills by the Table Mountain National Park near Cape Town South Africa. The plane was later found but there were no survivors.

Eric was home the next morning with a "Hello dumbass...didn't think you'd make it." and the wonderful "My baby's home!" Donna was pissed because she had put off college too long and headed for Madison the next day. Since then, they had declared themselves forever friends "only" because a relationship was a really bad idea. That was something Eric could live with - Donna as friend, but never without Donna in his life.

T7S

A goblin? He called her a goblin? What nerve! She was going to be Glenda the Good Witch. Glenda who appeared to Dorothy after the Kansas house landed on the Wicked Neighbor of the East - Erica Forman! He would look so pretty with ruby red slippers! Jackie slid the straps of her oversize turquoise Tupperware tote bag over her left shoulder and shut the door of her Mustang with her foot while slipping the keys into her purse. Ruby slippers..._Eric's big feet in a pair of bright red ruby slippers_….she almost laughed out loud but Nancy Baker was having a HUGE bridal shower and this was Jackie's show - she needed to get her head in the selling game.

One by one the drunken party girls were passing out on any available empty pieces of furniture. Meanwhile, Jackie was in Nancy Baker's kitchen tallying up her sales for that party. At the end of the night she had cash, checks, a money order and someone even left her a tip! Humming an ABBA tune, she folded the sales monies in half and tucked the bills into her wallet, _"...If you need me, let me know, gonna be around...If you've got no place to go..." _

She looked over to see Nancy clutching her stomach and the trashcan. "I'll just let myself out...great party!" Jackie had no desire to see what Nancy was going to spew in the garbage so she quickly grabbed her party bag and made a mad dash for the front door.

She stood on the top stoop and looked out at the twinkling stars in the cloudless sky. It was a little brisk but she took a deep breath and slowly released it. She was 20 (almost 21) and on top of her game. She was the youngest sales rep for all three of her companies in the lower Wisconsin territories and she was almost living her dream. It felt good to be young and beautiful and have oodles of money in her bank account. (No thanks mom or dad!) She smiled at her gently used Mustang and couldn't wait to get back to her miniscule apartment.

Life was good.

Love was on the back burner

T7S

Eric left Sheldon's house and looked at the next address in his appointment book. Man, it was cool to be so busy that he had to have a book just for appointments! Wait! He should have a _secretary_ to keep track of his appointments...was Donna too busy to...yeah of course she was but damn, but it was a good idea!

His 7:00 o'clock Geometry student was a gymnastic star at her middle school. She may have been a wonderful athlete but she was horrible in figuring out triangles and dimensions. The fact that her mother was a rich divorcee wasn't lost on Eric Forman. The fact that Allison Brock lived in the richest neighborhood of Point Place was only good for his business!

He signaled a left turn as the green light turned yellow and maybe if he timed it right he could scoot right through the intersection. BLAM! KABOOM! SCREECH! The Vista Cruiser sideswiped a dark blue Mustang and his poor car spun out in the middle of the streets coming to a halt on the sidewalk mere millimeters from a fire hydrant.

Eric rested his forehead on the steering wheel thinking "Stupid stupid stupid!" From the corner of his eye he could see the driver of the other car coming towards him but the glaring headache made his vision hazy.

Hands were slapping on the window and someone was shouting. The windshield was filling up with the outline of strangers that came to gawk or help, he couldn't figure it out. Someone opened the door and the next thing he knew he had fallen out of the driver's seat and was lying on the ground looking up into a pair of very angry jewel colored eyes.

"You hit my car!" Jackie exclaimed before she kicked his leg.

What hurt worse – his head or his leg where Jackie Burkhart kicked him?

"Go away you gremlin." He muttered pathetically.

She crouched down and moved his hair from his forehead. "Yep, you got a big goose egg on your head. You want me to call an ambulance?"

Eric closed his eyes as her voice grated across his nerves. "No. Just...go away."

She poked him in the shoulder, "I sure hope your insurance covers the body work it's going to take to fix my car. You DO have insurance don't you?"

Eric rose up on his elbows with one shaky hand holding his head. "Yeah, I think. Dad always took care of that before I..." Did he have car insurance? Shit! When did he ever make a payment? Jackie was going to cost him a fortune!

A black pair of crinkly leather boots moved to the front of his car where he clipped the Mustang. Eric could her Jackie making clucking sounds with her tongue. "Your car is really messed up Eric."

Was she saying that to him or for the sake of the crowd?

Somewhere in the background he could hear sirens and prayed it was only an ambulance and not the police. He really didn't want to have to confront Red Forman with a police report and a wrecked up car!

Some sweet old woman came forward with a wet cloth, "Here you go dearie. I don't see any blood but you might want to have a doctor look at that bump on your noggin." Eric gratefully took the cool rag and pressed it against his now painfully throbbing forehead.

In the background amid the wailing siren he could hear Jackie's shrill voice doing inventory damage out loud. "...and a headlight and…look at that! My tire is going flat! Add that to your bill Eric Forman. Scratches! Ugly brown scratches on my door! How could you..."

Then Eric passed out cold.

Jusr as suddenly, he was wide awake as a paramedic waved a small capsule of ammonia under his nose. "Son, you might want to get x-rayed." The kindly EMT advised.

Eric struggled to a sitting position. "My mom's a nurse."

A strong beam of light was pointed in his eyes as he was instructed to follow the light as it moved in a cross motion. The moving of his head made him feel slightly nauseous. The paramedic declared that Eric most likely had a concussion.

Jackie walked over to the back end of the ambulance and handed Eric a piece of paper. "This is some of the damages I CAN see but I won't have all the details until it's in the shop and then of course all of it will have to be painted."

Eric flailed the paper thinking he was too eager to disregard calling the cops, "Shouldn't there be a police report?" Jackie's list was a crime!

Jackie folded her arms across her chest. "Are you implying that you running a red light was MY fault?"

"No...no it's not that...it's just well, look at my car!" He replied miserably.

The wretched looking Vista Cruiser had its own broken headlight and the front bumper was hanging down like a sad smile. The right front end was accordioned and there was blue paint transfer on the side where the two cars met. Jackie was tapping her foot. "If you want me to call the cops I can. I mean I have to call a tow truck because I can't DRIVE to my apartment in this condition."

He waved a hand. "Just shoot me. Red's gonna kill me anyways. Just put me out of my misery with a gun instead of your vicious verbal bullets."

She bit her lip. "I don't' have a gun so you're out of luck. Anyhow, do you want a ride home? It's on my way."

T7S

Red wiped his face twice and his foot was shaking. The tow truck driver had dropped the wounded Vista Cruiser in the Forman driveway and left after demanding a hundred bucks. Luckily for Eric, he was able to write a check before his mom whisked him into the kitchen for damage control. It wouldn't be of any use to yell at the boy now because he was out of sorts but in a couple of hours and a couple of Tylenol's later...there was going to be some ass kicking!

"Oh Eric, you are so lucky that it was Jackie that you ran into and not some big truck or fire engine! I've seen accident patients that got ejected through the windshields and well...it's just not pretty."

Kitty wrapped a bag of frozen peas into a dish cloth and held it against her son's head. "How fast were you going dear?"

"I was just starting to make a left turn...maybe five miles an hour? I swear I didn't see her car - it was dark and the Mustang was that blue color..."

Kitty tsk-tsked and shook a couple of ibuprophen into his palm and put a glass of water in his other hand. "Drink up dear. It will help a lot."

"Don't I need to go to the hospital?" Please say no!

She replied. "I'll keep an eye on you and if I see blood coming out of your ears..ahahahaha… we'll take you right away. But for now, just go get comfortable in the living room and don't go to sleep."

Eric rose on shaky legs and started for the door when Kitty asked, "If you got this hurt, what happened to Jackie?"

He stopped. "I don't know. I didn't even ask."

T7S


	2. Chapter 2 It's Only Money

**Author Note: **_Hey – glad to hear from my old Wall of Famers! I missed you too! And thank you for the PM's and all those new readers! You guys really made my day. Carry on; this story will be a short multi-chapter one versus my usual epic endeavors_**.**

T7S

**Chapter 02** – It's Only Money

T7S

Jackie looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror and frowned. She had a tiny bruise on her temple but if she was clever with a barrette no one would even notice. Luckily she wasn't too banged up because it looked like Eric got the worst beating off all! Besides, she had more important worries – like what was he doing in HER neighborhood? She couldn't have the Eric Forman taint stinking up her rich clients! Well, she would just have to ask him after she got her rental car.

She whispered to her reflection, "I'll kill him if he doesn't get my car fixed." Said and confirmed, she smiled at herself and turned away from the vanity mirror. She had $500 in her purse and a deposit slip to fill out!

T7S

Eric looked at the handwritten list of damages and felt like weeping. Jackie listed everything but the kitchen sink! Red still hadn't talked about the wrecked car yet and if they never talked at all, that would be just fine with Eric!

Of course his dad would choose this particular moment to walk in the living room. Saying nothing but still very angry, Red sat carefully in his green chair and stared at the blank television screen. He opened his mouth and pointed a finger and then said nothing. He glared at his son and the words he wanted to say were replaced with concern. "Are you out of your ever loving mind? I thought I taught you better than that!"

Eric took the cold compress from his head and replied, "Dad, I know it was stupid...now...but the light was yellow and I didn't see any other car sand it didn't help that Jackie was driving a dark colored car and how was I supposed to know she wasn't running a red light?"

Red shook his head as only a father could do. "Son...when you make a left turn EVERYONE has the right of way. I don't care if she was running the red light, you are automatically at fault. Call the insurance company in the morning and let them deal with her insurance company so..." Red saw the color leave his son's already pale face and he muttered under his breath, "You didn't pick up the insurance premium did you..." It wasn't a question but more of a statement of confirmation of Red Forman's worst nightmare.

"Dad. When I left for Africa the car was insured." Eric said in his defense.

"And when you left for Africa I dropped the coverage because nobody was going to be driving the Vista Cruiser."

"But I came back." Eric argued feebly.

"And I didn't add the car back. It's your car - you are 21 years old. It's your responsibility. So Mr. Left Turn Dumbass, how are you going to pay for the repairs to your car and the Burkhart girl's and get to work?"

This little question hurt worse than his goose egg. This question hurt right in the pocketbook. All the money he had been saving towards his store - pfft! Gone in a Jackie Burkhart second!

T7S

"But I don't want to rent a Beetle; I want to rent a cute car. Give me the Nova. The red one."

Jackie pointed through the window at the candy apple red Chevy in the rental car parking lot. "I have some work to do and this is just wasting my time."

The clerk was way too intimidated by the beautiful and bossy brunette. He didn't want to argue but didn't want her to leave because she was the nicest looking girl he'd had in that office in the last couple of weeks. Pushing the paperwork across the counter he offered his pen, but Miss Burkhart reached into her bottomless bag and pulled out a gold pen and signed her name with loops and dotted the " i " with a star.

He sighed a little. "Thank you and are you going to rent this weekly or monthly?"

"Probably for a couple of weeks. Why…is there a discount?" She smiled so prettily!

His heart quickened. "Not really but I could maybe give you ten percent off...I mean we can call it… a manager's special."

Jackie looked at his name tag. "Thanks Jeremy, a girl always loves a special." She pushed the completed paperwork back towards him and held out her hand for the keys.

Jeremy pulled the ring from his peg board and dropped them into her palm. Jackie clicked her pen so the ballpoint retracted and sang a little of her favorite ABBA tune. _… You say that I waste my time but I can't get you off my mind…No I can't let go…'Cos I love you so_…" She winked at Jeremy and twirled around pushing through the glass door and towards her rental car.

What a great day this was going to be!

T7S

Eric was out of breath by the time he got to Michael Waxman's house. Red Forman was not ordinarily a funny guy, so when Eric saw the Schwinn bicycle in the driveway, he started laughing. "Heh-heh….aren't you a little too old to take up bike riding dad?"

"Yes and no. This is for you to go to work with. The Anderson's daughter had it in the garage and offered to loan it to you until you get back on your feet."

"But it's….it's pink." Eric didn't want to add that it had tattered tassels coming out of the handlebars. It was a very feminine bike. There was no freaking way he was riding this thing to a tutor job!

Kitty came out of the kitchen and exclaimed, "Oh! Look who got a new bike! Eric, we still have your rubber horn in the attic if you want to use it."

"What? No mom. I'm not taking a bike to work. I'll call a cab."

Red bit back a grin. "Yes, do that Eric. They are going to charge you just for showing up and then for the meter to run and then when you finally get there you'll probably be out 30 or 40 bucks. Go ahead big spender. Call that taxi!"

Red pivoted on his heel and walked into the garage uttering phrases like "I wish I could just blow 40 dollars on a ride." He looked over his shoulder, "That forty could help your mother with the grocery bill." Red put his hands on his hips, "In fact, that could be your weekly rent hotshot. What do you think about that?"

Eric sighed and pulled his backpack straps over his shoulders hopping awkwardly onto the girls. "I think I'll just save some money for a rainy day."

Now he lay on his back on the Waxman's front lawn trying to get a breath. He hadn't realized the kid lived 8 miles up the hill! Wasn't Mt Hump around here somewhere? When this gig was over he was calling Hyde for a ride home. This was definitely not something he was going to do daily - that's for sure!

T7S

Another profitable day and one that paid for her party costume; Jackie paused to think, how was Eric going to pick her up? Wouldn't he be surprised to see the costume she picked out? Should she just meet him there or drive with his parents in the Toyota? There was no way she was going to ride sidesaddle on some stupid moped! That was too geeky even for Forman, but she had this beautiful dress...maybe she should drive! At least if she drove she could leave when the party got boring!

Smiling at her great idea, she picked up the phone and dialed the Forman house. Kitty answered in her sing-song voice, "Hello?"

"Hi Mrs. Forman. It's Jackie, is Eric there?"

"Of course, he's upstairs studying...let me call him." Kitty was trying to be polite because the poor dear had a wrecked car by a member of her family but that didn't make Kitty like the Burkhart girl any more than necessary. "ERIC! PHONE!"

Jackie had to hold the receiver away from her ear since Kitty's voice had become shrill - then just as sweet as you please; she came back on the line, "He'll be right with you. Hang on the line."

Jackie held the telephone between her ear and her shoulder and reached for her emery board. She slowly filed the tiny ragged edge of her thumbnail while waiting for Eric to pick up the phone. What the hell was he doing anyways? It's not like he had any kind of social life.

But then neither did she.

Jackie sighed. Somehow she would remedy that. AFTER she became rich and the NUMBER 1 top sales rep for all three of her companies! There was some commotion and finally Eric spoke, "Jackie? Why are you calling me? Your insurance company already sent me the estimate. Aren't you done dragging me through the dirt?"

"What are you talking about? I called to see what time you were picking me up for the LOPP Masquerade party. I'm thinking that 6:00 o'clock sounds good."

On the second floor of the Forman house, Eric pinched his nose until his eyes watered. Was she for real? "Party? You expect me to go to a freaking party after I have to repair your car?"

"Well sure. The party and my car repair have no relation to each other. You invited me to the party of the season and I have customers that I need to meet and greet and make small talk with. Remember, YOU invited ME. Pick me up Friday at 6:00 on the dot. You have my address." Jackie got ready to hang up and then added, "Don't forget!"

Eric hung up the phone and muttered, "As if...how could she possibly think I'm going to some stupid party!"

He heard his mother's footsteps outside the bedroom door and the linen closet opening.

"Oh Eric, honey! Do you want me to wash your costume before the party? Are you wearing your Spiderman pajamas again this year? Ahahahaha…"

Shame warmed his face. "NO MOM!" he shouted through the closed door. "I'M NOT WEARING PAJAMA'S THIS YEAR." Eric threw his pillow at the door and in a lower voice added, "...and I'm not going to the LOPP party."

T7S

Kelso was juggling the Rubik's cube and the TV Guide (unsuccessfully of course) when he suggested, "Just go to the party, pick up a chick and let Jackie do the driving. It's just a ride man. What's your alternative - veterinarian meals for the next three months? Dude, that's a small price to pay for your mom's cooking."

Eric leaned his head back on the sofa and rubbed his face with his hands. "Veg-et-ar-ian Kelso…not vet….never mind. Don't change the subject." He reluctantly confessed, "Man, it's like she's out to get me."

Kelso caught the TV Guide on the top of his face. "Who?

Eric opened one eye and looked at his friend, "Haven't you been paying attention? Jackie – you're ex-girlfriend – who else?. She can be mean and spiteful and dangerous!"

Kelso laughed, "Just tell her she's beautiful and that you like what she's wearing and she'll probably buy you something nice."

Eric looked aghast. "I don't want anything from her! Gah!"

Kelso shrugged. "Well…since she broke up with Hyde, she's kinda like a different Jackie."

"Oh, you mean she's not bossy and opinionated and snarky and a wee bit bitchy?"

The handsome ex-cop laughed, "Oh no, she's all that but she does have her good points."

Eric rubbed his forehead and replied, "Name three."

Kelso held out his hand and pointed one finger. "She's great with Betsy so she'll be a good mom."

Rolling his eyes, Eric replied, "I'm not looking to have kids any time soon man."

His friend held out two fingers and smiled before saying, "Peace. No seriously, she's a career woman who's making bank. Eric, you have no clue how much dough she's got stashed in the Point Place First National."

Eric raised a brow and thought if she was that well off why was she ragging on him to get her car fixed? Maybe SHE didn't have car insurance!

"...and three she looks hot all the time!"

"Those are good points?" Eric asked.

Kelso shrugged, "Well have you ever seen her look _not_ hot?" Eric tried to think of a time that Jackie Burkhart didn't look attractive and his memory failed him. "Okay so you have me on that, but she's still a troll."

The ex-cop laughed, "Just go to the stupid party. It will make her happy, make your mom ecstatic and who knows, maybe she'll take off some of that money you owe on fixing her car! Heck, _I'd_ go to the party just for the free beer and food and the chicks…"

Kelso pondered the thought for a beat and added, "Hey...take me! I bet I could find someone and be doin' it in the broom closet in less than an hour!"

Eric laughed, "I'll bet you could...but you might have something there Kelso. I'll be nice and polite and a good date and _maybe_ she'll get off my back!"

Kelso went back to juggling the Rubik's cube and TV Guide. "Now you're thinking like a Kelso...scary aint it?

He frowned slightly and replied, "Yeah, it is a bit scary."

T7S


	3. Chapter 3 Dog Bone

**Author Note**_:….just an f.y.i….this isn't one of my epic stories so things are happening fast and before you know it…it's over! Enjoy_

T7S

**Chapter 03** – Dog Bone

T7S

Jackie loved the sound her petticoat made under the _Scarlett _dress. She nearly shivered from the whisper of the long silk gloves as they swept over the rich fabric of her ball gown. She looked beautiful. No...actually Jackie Burkhart rocked this dress! There was not going to be one single person unaffected by the sight of her waltzing into the party in her Scarlett O'Hara gown. It was a replica of the gown the famed O'Hara wore to the Twelve Oaks barbeque. White with green sprigs and accented with green ribbons….it was just gorgeous!

Now, if only she could find a Rhett Butler to complement this gorgeous costume! Jackie turned sideways in the mirror and loved how the corset cinched her tiny waist making it appear smaller than ever and the tops of her breasts pushed up and out - this _pair_ was definitely going to be a deal breaker!

She was so glad she opted out of the Wizard of Oz dress.

Jackie looked under her pile of next months Avon catalogs and couldn't find the silk bag that matched the gloves. The bag was gorgeous and the ribbons closed the mouth of the purse and slid onto her wrist but where was it? She upended a bag of complimentary lipstick swatches and breathed a sigh when she found her bag under the footstool of her easy chair.

Tonight was going to be such fun! She knew that the wealthiest LOPP members had been talking about it all week and Jackie longed to tell them what her costume was going to be, but the masquerade was the theme. Scarlett O'Burkhart just had to cools her pretty little heels.

Jackie looked at the clock and even though the party didn't start for an hour she decided to go to the Forman's and wait while Eric got dressed in whatever comic book costume was available. It had been determined that they were all going to ride together even though that twerky jerk offered the basket on his bicycle for a seat...and he thought he was so clever! NOT! Jackie politely turned down his ride and accepted Red's backseat offer.

"…_We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we're together…Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better…" _Jackie sang the ABBA tune and sashayed in front of the mirror, turning and twirling her dress.

She sighed…of all the single men in Point Place why did she have to attend this most prestigious career-affecting event with Eric Forman?

_Because you weren't invited, Forman's family was_. Jackie could almost stamp her tiny foot. Why wasn't she at _that place_ in life where she could sit on her laurels? _That place_ where just being Jackie Burkhart was enough? _That place_ where everything was perfect?

_That_ place!

T7S

Eric added his grandfather's gold cuff links to the buttonholes on his white linen shirt. Going dressed as James Bond 007 ½ (his idea) had been brilliant! Not only was Bond a cool dude, but the extra ½ was the Jedi he was bringing to the party. Looking in the mirror, the single breasted jacket had three outer pockets that could potentially hold many phone numbers of single women! The pants were pleated with black satin lines and the suspender buttons just reeked of coolness. It was awesome that Leo had a friend at the dry cleaners that could loan out such a great suit.

His mother's voice rang up to the second floor, "Eric! Honey! We're about to leave! Jackie just pulled up."

Shit. Still, he looked at his profile in the full length mirror and pretended his finger and thumb was a gun as he shot his reflection. He grinned saucily and said, "Looking this good should be against the law!"

Kitty was fussing with her red and white gingham skirt as Eric sauntered down the steps. His mother was dressed like a cowgirl while his dad's contribution to the matching costume was a bolo tie and a cowboy hat. The two men caught each other's eye and there was an unspoken foot-in-the-ass-if-you-say-anything-about-what-I'm-wearing glance. Kitty turned, "Oh honey, you look so handsome! Red, look! We have a little Sean Connery in the house."

A knocking on the back door saved Eric from any potential humiliation from his parents as he passed by and into the kitchen. He saw a curly brunette head and a glimpse of white. Unlocking the slider, he stopped and blinked.

Jackie was gorgeous. Then she smiled and he had to take a step back. "Wow….Jackie….that's a….what a great costume." Kelso was right – she was hot!

Jackie wasn't the only one surprised – who knew Eric Forman could clean up so good? "You look very handsome Eric. You could almost be….my butler."

Eric barked out a laugh, "Excuse me? I am double-O-7 and ½. You can call me Bond. Eric Bond."

"Seven and a half? What's that? Your hat size?"

"Now stop it you two!" Kitty scolded. "Jackie you look beautiful as always…where have I seen that dress before?" Jackie smiled broadly and twirled in front of Mrs. Forman.

Kitty snapped her fingers. "Twelve Oaks from Gone With the Wind."

"Yes! It's such a wonderful dress!" Jackie replied.

Red cleared his throat, a little uncomfortable with his son staring at the visible cleavage. "Uh….say Jackie…do you need a sweater or something? A scarf? Kitty get the girl a scarf."

Both women looked at Red like he had dropped a marble. "What for?"

Then Kitty followed her husband's line of sight to see what Eric was staring at. "Oh my, we should find you a scarf – I think I have one in mint green….I'll only be a minute."

Eric finally found his tongue and looked past the tiny midget and out towards the driveway. "So I guess I'm gonna have to dance with you."

"I'm not dancing with a butler. We will sit together and appear to be a couple but this is all business and don't forget it."

Jackie turned slightly and added, "I was thinking about it and you are a terrible dancer so I'll spare you more humiliation and you can just be my….companion."

_But I'm a heck of a dancer! _Eric wanted to protest then he thought about the times he'd danced with Donna and Jackie had a valid point – he could use some dancing lessons….but put this dude in a pair of skates…!

"Oh that's right, I'm still paying for your car." He muttered in reply

Jackie raised her brow, "As if you could forget…."

Eric raised both hands as if giving up and side-stepped through the door and out to the Toyota. He opened the back passenger door and said quite drolly, "Your buggy awaits Scarlett."

She gathered the yards of material and tried to stuff her dress into the tiny backseat. "Eric! Help me!" He rolled his eyes and pushed against the dress while trying to shut the car door without getting the gown caught. It took three tries and her dress pretty much filled up the entire backseat.

"I could take my car." She suggested.

Eric squeezed in and looked at her like she was crazy, "No freaking way! You're in the car so just…just sit and be quiet." _She really called him a butler?_

Jackie grinned, "So…wearing a tuxedo makes you feel all macho…eh?"

Eric pretended to brush some lint from his jacket sleeve, "I do look quite _debonair_. I think I will attract _many ladies_ this evening."

Jackie sniggered behind her hand. "Eric the only way you are going to attract _any_ _ladies_ is if they think you're _with_ me."

He frowned, "What?"

Jackie turned slightly in her seat, "It's like the dog with a bone theory."

"Again….what?"

She laughed. "Okay, pay attention. Say there's a bone lying on the ground. Some dogs will look at it. Some will sniff at it and some will just ignore it. Now if a dog grabs the bone and walks off with it….all the other dogs will suddenly become interested in it."

"You are the bone?"

She clapped her hands and giggled. "No YOU are the bone! Do you get it? If other girls see you with me….they are going to want to be with you!"

Eric finally caught the wisdom of her little lesson. "Ahhhh….you are wise for a troll doll in a pretty dress.

Jackie smiled at the well earned compliment. "Thank you Eric. If you need more advice, you know where to find me."

Damn, why did Kelso have to plant that "_Jackie looks hot_" thought in his head? She did look scorching and of course being Jackie, she would certainly know exactly how to burn him. Still he was the bone and he would attract the bitches. _Ew, that kinda sounded a bit rude, Eric!_

Any other lewd thoughts he had were dashed like cold water as his parents got into the Toyota. Kitty was fussing with Red's shirt collar and looked over the backseat exclaiming, "Look at all the ruffles and lace! Jackie that is such a beautiful dress." The older woman's hand touched the fabric and sighed before adding," Eric don't wrinkle it."

Eric was pushed against the passenger door. "Mom, that dress is like an extra passenger, I think it needs its own car!"

Jackie giggled behind her gloved hand. She _knew_ this dress was going to be the talk of the evening! She smiled, "Thank you Eric, but it's not the dress…it's who is in the dress that's important. The dress is like a frame. Like a picture frame and I'm the beautiful painting…" Suddenly there was a hand over her mouth and Eric said in a low voice, "We get the _picture_ so can you button up your lip? You've already ruined the evening so just…..just be quiet okay?"

Jackie was startled at this nearly boorish version of Eric Forman. Who was he to tell Scarlett O' Burkhart to be quiet? She opened her mouth to retort and he put out his finger whispering, "….I know you probably have a bunch of crap to bitch about but using a line from your own movie….frankly Jackie…I don't give a damn. I'm doing this for my mom so just pretend like you're having fun okay?" _He was seriously considering ditching this gig._

She frowned and sat back. Oh dare he! Narrowing her eyes, she glared at him and Red looked in the rear view mirror when he heard Eric yelp in pain. "You got a problem son?"

Eric rubbed his calf where Jackie's pointy heel made contact with his leg. He glared at her, and replied, "No dad…I think I had a …cramp."

Jackie crossed her arms and in doing that action caused her silk pouch purse to fly across the seat and smack Eric in the face. He grabbed his cheek and rubbed it. "I'm walking home." He hissed.

She raised a brow. "Good."

"Fine."

"Better for me!"

Eric couldn't think of a retort that she couldn't counter him with so he mimed cutting his throat with his finger. Jackie smiled and whispered, "I dare you."

He almost rose to take the bait but that would have let her win and Eric Forman was determined not to let Jackie Burkhart win anything this evening!

"Game on." He said almost sneering.

She smiled with bare teeth, "Oh, it's SO on. I can only hope you know the rules."

Eric frowned. _There were rules?_

WAIT!

T7S


	4. Chapter 4 Belle of the Ball

**Author Note**: _Wow….I lost readers….huh….I suppose this story isn't engaging enough to compete with the newer J/E writers….isn't that a kick in the head? Actually there are some really bright and promising authors out there and I will gladly step back and let them take stage. But, if you're still interested….here's chapter four - what happens when they get to the dance?_

T7S

**Chapter 04** – The Belle of the Ball

T7S

The parking lot was full of fancy Cadillac's, silver Lincolns, colorful Thunderbirds, and a couple of those new 280Z cars that sparkled like shiny pennies. Men in clown costumes were smoking outside of the entrance and women dressed in questionable "hooker" clothing were flirting with passersby. Jackie sighed and wished that the party wasn't such an older audience. Kitty and Red Forman were practically ancient! _That's not nice; they invited you to the party. _Jackie chastised herself and put on her best party smile.

Eric saw all those emotions play over his companions face and wondered what kind of hell she was scheming for him. Rules? Forman made the rules and Jackie was just going to have a tough time bending them. "Eric? Honey, we're here." Kitty's voice broke him from his reverie. "Get your date out of the car sweetie."

Red cleared his throat and loosened his bolo tie. "Yeah and don't make an ass out of the family name while we're here – those people are snooty enough as it is."

Eric rolled his eyes at Jackie and quickly climbed out of the Toyota to run around to the passenger side. He acted in a gentlemanly way and opened the door as she put a gloved hand out for assistance. "Thank you Eric." Then she hit him with a killer smile that made his heart kick start.

_What that hell was that? _

"Uh….yeah….sure. Just don't trip on your dress. This parking lot is pretty dirty." Eric didn't know what else to say so he shrugged, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. Jackie patted his cheek. "Thank you again." She started walking towards the door when Eric realized his parents had already headed in and he was still standing by the car!

Jackie looked back over her shoulder and smiled. _He really was so easy – maybe this night would be interesting_. "007 1/2, are you coming or not?"

The tall boy nearly stumbled over his glossy leather shoes. He quickly caught up and offered his "date" an elbow and she slid a hand onto his bicep. "My, _somebody_ has been working out. I don't think I've ever felt a muscle like this before."

"Yeah, it's from all the bicycle riding I've been doing because…" he slammed the brakes on the rest of the words that were about to tumble out of his mouth. _Why make this night any more miserable than it had to be?_ "…uh…I've been working out…yeah…that's it." He almost said proudly.

She brushed his satin lapel and smiled. "Well it looks good on you. Oh! There's Allison Brock!"

Startled that Jackie knew his client Eric stopped and steered her around. "How do you know the Brock's?"

Jackie's bag swung from her wrist, "She's my customer."

"She's MY client." Eric argued.

Jackie rolled her eyes, "Oh puh-leeze. She buys Princess House crystal like crazy. What do you sell her?"

"I tutor her kid. In fact I had an appointment the night of the accident."

She clucked her tongue, "Tsk-tsk. That's too bad. I wonder which one of us she'll want to talk to first. Could it be the one that makes her home beautiful like a Vogue magazine cover…or the guy that helps her kid get a 'C' in math?"

Damn, but Jackie had a razor sharp tongue that could cut and deliver a nice BURN at the same time. Eric inhaled sharply and shook off her hand. "Good burn you…gremlin…let's just agree that neither of us make a move on the Brock's tonight – okay?"

Jackie narrowed her eyes. "What's in it for you?"

Eric started walking towards the door and looked back over his shoulder, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

Jackie picked up the front of her dress and scurried across the remaining parking lot. She caught up to Eric and grabbed his arm. "You're not getting away that easily Forman."

His teeth flashed when he grinned. "Oh…does Jackie have a problem?"

She looked up and noticed that Eric had really a really good complexion. Maybe he didn't really need to buy any of her Avon skin cream. He shaved too and why did his eyes look so green and why did she have to start noticing?

Eric took her hand off his arm and noticed the midget was staring at him with a weird un-Jackie-like expression. Was she making more rules? Her mouth was moving before he realized she had said something to him.

"I'm sorry – what did you say?"

Jackie looked down at the asphalt and then tilted her head up enough that she could look at him from under long lashes. "I said you looked very handsome and I thought it was important that you know that."

Jackie was complimenting him? For real? Oh, this was something he could save in his BURN repertoire for later! "You think I look handsome?"

For some strange reason that little word made his heart warm just a little – or course not enough to forget that he was at a party with his business nemesis! Learning that they shared the same clientele was something he had never considered and then again he never did ask Jackie was she did for a living.

The evil little midget gave him another one of those dazzling smiles and replied, "Of course you're handsome. You just had to grow out of that awkward, nerdy, twitchy adolescent phase. That is why I thought you would be acceptable as a party date."

_Acceptable_.

There was that damn word again! Eric was surprised when Jackie's gloved hand intertwined with his and she pulled him towards the party entrance. Giving into the promise of a nice beer buzz he fell into step and let her enter through the door first.

As she predicted, the dress was showstopper. She felt like she had stepped into the Rodgers and Hammerstein's musical _Cinderella_ that played on TV every year. The crowd stopped talking for a brief moment and Jackie inhaled the phenomenon of being the proverbial belle of the ball. Men smiled and women either nodded in respect and admiration or looked at her with contempt. Which ever the expression was….Jackie let the attention envelope her. It was incredible.

Eric noticed all of the attention he was getting by holding Jackie's hand as her date and realized that _he_ was the _dog_ with a _boner_. Wait, bone! Dog with a bone and was that Pam Macy's mom winking at him? This could be cool!

Jackie's short spell of phenom was broken by Red Forman's irritated comment, "Sheesh…you'd think they never saw a girl in a dress. Eric! Jackie! Get a table and stop drawing attention to yourselves. "

"Oh Red, let the kids have their fun." Kitty chastised softly. "Why don't you get us something to drink….oh look! There's Marge Cranston and Bill. You like Bill…let's sit with them."

Eric almost laughed out loud at his dad over exaggerated eye roll. He replied, "Yes dear. Lead the way."

T7S

Jackie sat at the table with her chin in her hand while twirling the little purple paper umbrella in a circle. She looked quite uninterested and honestly Eric was bored out of his mind. More than 80 percent of the party patrons were almost has old has his folks! Some of the music was big band 1940's that he recognized hearing as a kid in Red's garage. Couldn't they play anything in the top 40? Maybe some rock and roll?

"They better do something about that DJ or I'm going to kick someone." Jackie said apathetically. Eric immediately moved his legs out of Jackie kicking range. "Oh hey…I think I saw Kelso's dad talking to that guy dressed like a prison guard." Eric observed.

"Which one are you talking about? The striped uniform or the orange jumpsuit? Because the orange jumpsuit is the mayor's brother-in-law."

Eric squinted, "Really? Didn't he get caught with that hooker at the no-tell motel a couple of months ago?"

Jackie laughed, "Yes and that was probably the same outfit he wore while he was picking up trash at the side of the road!"

Eric grinned and realized that this evening wasn't going to be so horrible after all. At least until Jackie's head swiveled around much like Regan in The Exorcist. She turned back to Eric and said, "OH. MY. GOD. Look at that cow! How dare that little chubbo have a conversation with Veronica Bentley!"

Eric had no clue what she was talking about. "Cow?"

Jackie stood up. "Dance with me Eric."

He looked up and replied, "I thought you said I was a terrible dancer."

She arched her brow, "You are and that's why you're going to dance me over to Angela Carson."

"Who?" Eric asked dumbly.

Jackie pointed and said, "Angela. That bitch in the cow costume that's trying to take my customer away from me.

Eric laughed, "Oh…you really meant cow – like moo cow and not just a fat girl."

Jackie tugged on his hand, "Mooove it Eric! Time is wasting." The current _Bette Davis Eyes _song was ending which the DJ smoothly segued into _Keep On Loving_ You by REO Speedwagon. Fortunately for Eric it really didn't matter if he could or couldn't dance since most eyes would be on Jackie.

The song had a good beat and Eric was enjoying being the bone dog while he whirled and swirled Scarlett O'Burkhart across the dance floor. Their dance target was the brown spotted Holstein talking to Cat Woman. "Okay, twirl me and stand back."

Eric gave Jackie a big twirl and suddenly she let go of his hand and went crashing into the costumed cow staggering the woman under the blunt force of a 98 pound devil. Angela Carson yelped as Jackie pulled on the costume's udders to get back to her feet.

Eric crossed his arms and watched the master of manipulation go to work on her customer. Jackie put a delicate hand on Cat Woman's shoulder and steered her towards the punch bowl. He heard terms like "stem ware" and "calligraphy etched goblets" and other mystery words that meant nothing to the guy in him.

Then he noticed the poor woman dressed in the Holstein costume was still holding her udders. "Hey….are you okay?" Eric asked striding across the dance floor. She looked up and smiled. "I think I know you…..yeah, we went to high school together."

Knitting his brow Eric tried to recall an Angela Carson from any of his classes but the name didn't ring a bell. She brushed her mousy brown hair back from her face and added, "You might remember me as Bangela, the banjo playing girl from music class. You were in the AV class and filmed us during a concert."

Eric still struggled to remember. Was he high that day? Then he recalled when the shop teacher and the music teacher combined forces and presented the school with a musical during assembly. _Cowboys and Engines_. - The musical disaster that didn't even make it into the yearbook.

"That was a long time ago." That was the only nice thing he could contribute to the conversation with the banjo playing cow. Angela reached in to a hidden bovine pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "Here's my phone number." She said shyly and thrust the paper towards his hand. "Call me sometime."

Eric grinned. His first phone number!

T7S

"So we have a party with a picnic theme, you know the red and white checked blanket on the ground, the straw basket full of loaves of French bread and exotic cheeses and some wine in the glass goblets. Veronica, when you hear the sweet *ding* of a Princess House glass…it's like music. We will have the most awesome Christmas party…."

Veronica sipped her champagne and smiled. "I think that's a wonderful idea. Angela was trying to talk me into a cheese plate and I think you know I have more than enough cheese plates…"

Inwardly, Jackie breathed a sigh of relief – she hadn't lost a customer! Pulling a business card from her silk pouch, Jackie handed the small decorative card to Mrs. Bentley. "When you know what date you want to hold the party, call me and I'll get the decorations."

Then she felt Eric tapping a finger on her shoulder. She tried to brush it off but he decided to go into full professional tutor mode. "Ah! Mrs. Bentley. How is little Lydia doing in English?"

Jackie was taken aback that Eric knew Lydia Bentley AND he was butting in on her business conversation.

Veronica smiled, "Oh Eric, she's on the Honor Roll this semester. If it hadn't been for your help…."

Jackie took Eric's arm and steered him back to the dance floor shouting, "See you later Veronica!"

Eric stifled a laugh as Jackie hissed. "You could have told me you knew the Bentleys!"

He twirled her out and brought her back for a dip. "I didn't think I had to."

Jackie gasped at the unexpected dance move and when he brought her back up with a quick snap she corrected him. "I told you about Angela Carson…."

"You see, right there is the problem. I didn't know _who_ was talking to Veronica. But now I know Angela from high school AND I scored her phone number."

"I hate you." She muttered.

Eric swung his white gowned dance partner out onto the floor and twirled her back while grinning. "Good, because I hate you too."

T7S


	5. Chapter 5 This is What You Get

**Author Note: **_This chapter turned out to be longer than I expected it to be but I didn't want to break it into two short ones so here it is…..everyone dance!_

T7S

**Chapter 05** – This Is What You Get

T7S

Jackie reluctantly had to admit that Eric wasn't such a doofus on the dance floor as she might have imagined.. He was quick with his feet and seemed to know the difference between a box step and a waltz and easily dazzled the crowd. He bowed confidently between dances and mocked a James Bond pose while pretending to shoot the audience with his finger gun.

It took a bit of persuasion to get his focus back on the dance at hand. She tapped his shoulder, "Now, Virginia Crowley has triplets and two of them are on the brink of having to repeat the third grade if they don't improve in geography and I thought that since you almost went to Africa and everything….."

Eric spun Jackie out and wheeled her back in, "…you thought I could help them out….why is the other triplet doing so well?"

"She wears glasses and apparently can see the chalkboard." Jackie replied.

Eric looked down at the brunette and asked, "Well doesn't it stand to reason that if one triplet needs glasses that the other two might also?"

Jackie shrugged and said, "I don't know. I'm not an eye doctor or a parent. I'm just saying….there is a rich family and twice the money if you're interested."

Seemed odd that Jackie Burkhart was noticeably interested in helping him find clients…what was in it for her? Jackie put a hand on his shoulder as they rocked slowly to the Commodores melody. As if reading his thoughts she said in a low voice, "….they say keep your friends close and your enemies….closer."

Damn! Why did she have to smell so good and feel so soft and warm? _Think about Banjo girl and a date to the movies next week!_ Eric was trying to change the subject in his head but Jackie was overwhelming his senses and it was starting to piss him off.

"Let's get something to drink." He suggested as the song ended.

She wiped her face with the back of her hands and peeled off the gloves in much the same manner as an exotic dancer might. _Why did that have to look so sexy too?_ Eric growled low in his throat and headed for the bar.

"Oh honey!" Kitty exclaimed over her fourth Mai Tai. "You looked just dandy out there….my baby is all grown up and dancing – take me out for a spin."

Eric could feel the blood rush to his face….dance with his mother? Kitty wasted no time in grabbing his hands and pulling him out to the Benny Goodman number that was playing. She was jitterbugging and twirling while he flustered with some lame gestures looking around frantically until there was a tap on Kitty's shoulder. "Can I borrow your dance partner Mrs. Forman?"

Standing behind Jackie and looking pretty indignant was Red. "Yeah, uh….loud one here thinks I haven't danced with you enough."

Kitty smiled and giggled, "No you haven't Red, and you know how this girl loves to dance!" She patted Eric on the cheek and swirled into her husband's arms.

"You owe me." Jackie said with crossed arms. Frowning Eric replied, "For what?" The white dress was sweeping the floor, as she replied cattily. "Saving your ass. Get me a drink and I'll be at the table."

Jackie didn't wait for the argument; instead she plunged headfirst into the throng of dancing old people and looked for her table. Her feet were killing her and she needed someplace to drop these gloves.

"Oh Miss Burkhart!" a voice called out to her. Jackie looked around to see Nancy Baker waving frantically. The green Martian woman was working her way through the dancers. Finally the two women were face to face.

"I totally LOVE your dress." Nancy gushed. Jackie smiled proudly, "I know its great isn't' it?"

Nancy fell into a chair. "My Tupperware order was perfect and my husband says I can have an Avon party so can we schedule before Christmas?" Jackie was all ears and all business. Eric returned to their table with two drinks only to find it surrounded by older women excitedly asking questions about a catalog. How did Jackie fit that pamphlet in her tiny silk pouch?

"Ladies? If you would excuse us, my date….companion requested refreshment."

Mrs. Grayson, a fantastically fit older divorcee, winked at Eric. "I hear you do wonders with the education system. Let me give you my number…I have a….nephew with…some reading problems." Very slowly Lynda Grayson reached into her bodice and pulled out a slip of paper. It was still warm when she laid it on Eric's palm. She mimed a telephone receiver and whispered, "Call me."

Eric Forman stood a little straighter – a little more confident now with TWO phone numbers in his jacket. He was….invincible!

T7S

Jackie was tired of dancing and spying on the completion. Eric was the perfect companion and brought her drinks on command all the while collecting phone numbers as the "dog bone" theory predicted. He strutted like a peacock at the words of admiration from strangers who were jealous of him for having the most beautiful dance partner. All in all, this LOPP thing wasn't so horrible – well, except for Jackie's egotistical appetite for attention. Still…..

The house lights dimmed and Mayor Baxter stepped up to the microphone and noisily cleared his throat causing many spectators to cringe. Red looked at his wife and uttered, "If he'd only do that BEFORE he got on the mike."

Kitty smiled drunkenly and patted her husband's shoulder. "Be nice dear, you make the same snort when you get up in the morning." She looked up as the mayor held a gold envelope in his hand.

"And the winner of the door prize….which is….drum roll Kenny…." He instructed his assistant, "….in my hand is two tickets to an evening of fun at the FABULOUS Kenosha ballet…." The mayor reached in some glass fish bowl and pulled out a ticket and announced. "The winning number is…..1105. Who has ticket 1105?"

Kitty stood shocked. She reached in her pocket and pulled out her stub and shouted. "Me! I have it!" Excitedly, Kitty turned to Red and kissed his cheek. "Oh honey! We're going to the ballet!"

Red covered his face with his hands. "Crap. Ballet. Men in tights… oh jeez…what fun."

Eric laughed and watched as his mom ran up to Mayor Baxter and swapped her ticket stub for the gold envelope. The sight was well worth the cost of admission (being an escort to the white witch!) Jackie ran over and started talking about the ballet with Kitty leaving Eric to converse with his dad.

"I can sell those for you if you want."

Red sighed. "I appreciate the offer son, but now that they're in your mother's hands….it's a done deal."

"And the next prize….a pair of 50-yard-line-tickets to a _Packer's_ game goes to the lucky ticket holder of number 1104. Does anyone have 1104?"

Red's eyes got large-bigger than Eric had ever seen on his father's face. _Was that a little bit of Forman drool hovering near the lip?_ Red pulled the crumbled stub from his breast pocket and pushed his way through the throng much like Kitty did minutes ago.

"Give me my damn tickets Arnold. I won!" The smile on Red Forman's face was better than the day he drove his Corvette into the driveway. This had to be the happiest day for the grumpiest man on earth.

Jackie walked over to Eric with a smile. "Your mom is so happy."

Eric grinned, "I think dad is happier – he got really good tickets and I'm praying he doesn't want me to go with him."

Their conversation was put on hold while the Mayor stepped back to the microphone. His jowls were shaking with excitement as he held up a much larger envelope. 'I'm here to announce the three couples in the running for best costume for the Ladies' of Point Place Masquerade Ball. I need to see Cat Woman and Robin…c'mon folks come up and stand by me."

Mayor Baxter looked out over the crowd and spotted a couple dressed as vegetables. "Marge and Bill Cranston…bring your celery and carrot selves up here won't you?"

The crowd chuckled as the Cranston's made their way to the microphone. Arnold smiled and looked at his 3 x 5 cue card. "Okay and the last contestants are Scarlett O'Hara and her butler. Where are you Scarlett?"

Jackie turned to Eric and squealed, jumping up and down excitedly. "Eric! We might win!" She tugged on his hand pulling him towards the other contestants while Eric whined, "I'm NOT a BUTLER!"

Jackie's body was thrumming with excitement as she stood next to Veronica Bentley and the Cranston's. Eric couldn't help but get caught up in her enthusiasm as the mayor's assistant Kenny, drummed on some boxes.

Arnold pulled out a slip of paper, "….and in second place, and the winners of a free one year subscription to Wisconsin's Saucy Sausage and Cheese Club…let's hear it for the Cranston's!."

There was a smattering of applause as Arnold continued. "….Bill, you are going to be the envy of all the guys at the Lodge. Now…without further ado, the winners of the Ladies of Point Place ball for best costume are…..Scarlett and Rhett Butler!"

Jackie squealed and stepped on Cat Woman's foot and accidently elbowed her husband, Robin (aka Batman's little buddy) as she rushed for the grand prize. Eric murmured apologies as he hurried to catch the little midget. When he got to center stage, the mayor was handing over an envelope and speaking into the microphone.

"The grand prize, donated by Main Street Flowers, is….." He looked at Scarlett's excited face and at how she was holding her breath then he revealed the prize. "It's a weekend stay at the all new Kenosha Marriott Hotel! Three days and two nights and two dinners in the Café' Kenosha for the happy lovebirds!"

Eric realized right there that the mayor and everyone else in the room might be thinking they were a couple. He quickly held up a finger and grabbed the microphone out of the mayor's hand. "Excuse me everyone but I'm not a _butler_…I'm James Bond 007 ½. I just wanted to clarify that."

Jackie's eyes were glowing with excitement and she smiled widely at Eric and said _thank you_ even though he couldn't hear the words. Eric thought, "Ah hell, let her enjoy the moment…she does look nice in that dress."

Jackie couldn't ever remember being happier than at this moment in the world's most beautiful dress and having the crowd adore her. She basked n the attention and sighed with bliss. This was what she was looking for.

She felt like she was finally in _that place_.

T7S

The ride home was filled with a drunken Kitty talking about the Nutcracker ballet which had Red wincing in agony. "I loved those cocktail weenies Red. I need to make some the next time we play bridge." Kitty looked over the backseat, "Eric, did you try the barbeque meatballs? Oh, talk about tasty…" She turned back to her embarrassed husband. "Red, imagine us at the _Nutcracker_ eating weenies and meatballs…what a wonderful appetizer!"

Jackie was gingerly holding the ticket envelope and smiling endlessly while she dreamed about a wonderful weekend in the city.

"You know, one of those tickets belongs to me." Eric replied.

She smiled, "So what, are you going to go with me or something?"

"What? No! I mean I can always use mine some other time."

Jackie waved the envelope in front of him. "It's for a limited engagement. You can _buy_ it from me…."

"Yeah right….I already owe you the sweat of my soul and my dead grandma and you want me to buy the winning prize from you. Get bent."

Jackie giggled and tucked the envelope into her pouch. "I thought so….you didn't seem to be the kind of guy that wanted to spend the night in a strange hotel."

The remainder of the ride back was quiet as Eric silently fumed at being called a butler when he was really 007 ½ and didn't get the sausage/cheese gift or the Packer's tickets but a supposedly romantic weekend getaway with the last person he wanted to go anywhere with!

Finally, the Toyota turned into the Forman driveway and Eric breathed a sigh of relief.

T7S

Jackie helped Red walk a very tipsy Kitty Forman to the patio door. Red smiled his thanks and added, "If my wife was coherent, she would thank you for going to this shindig."

Jackie laughed, "You didn't do so bad yourself Mr. Forman. Packer tickets? I know quite a few people that would be glad to take those off your hands for a pretty penny."

Red guffawed. "Nope sweetheart, these tickets are staying right in my pocket until game day."

She smiled. "Okay, well I'm going home so I'll see you around!"

Eric was busy taking the trash cans out to the curb as Jackie skipped past him. "You could always buy my ticket!" She laughingly teased. Eric shook his head sadly and walked back up the drive.

"Eric!" his dad said in a firm voice. "Jackie left her bag in the backseat. Run that down to her so she can go home."

Eric sighed. "Sure dad." One last visit with the gremlin that started all this and he was done! Well, except for the auto repair bill.

Jackie was pulling on the driver's side door and then hit the frame with her fist. She was locked out!

"I suppose you were looking for this?" A voice in the twilight asked. Eric walked out of the shadows and handed the silk pouch to his nemesis and unlocked her door. (Because he was a gentleman like his mom taught him to be) But….Eric was finally at the edge of his patience with the little troll now.

"Oh, so now I suppose you've come to kiss me goodnight." Jackie commented flippantly.

Eric rolled his eyes and in a sudden daring move, gripped the small woman by the waist and lifted her up and onto the hood of the rented Nova. She yelped and scratched through the air until she made contact with the lapels of his suit.

"Eric…what the hell?" _Oh, that was so reminiscent of something Donna would have said._

Feeling emboldened with five new phone numbers in his pockets, Eric set his left hand down on the hood beside Jackie's hip and leaned forward making her lean back and keeping her off balance.

"I'm not going to kiss you." He said in a low voice.

_Wait, he's not going to kiss me good night?_ Jackie's favorite ABBA tune played in the back of her head like the soundtrack to some romantic movie. _"….Oh you can take your time baby, I'm in no hurry, know I'm gonna get you,…" Instead _of backing away (like he should have!) Eric pressed forward as if he was going to tell her a secret. His lips were just a breath away from her ear as his right hand fisted in her hair.

"While you have been a completely obnoxious little troll…" his words lingered in her ear like a caress as his lips moved down her cheek making her heart pitter pat just a little bit faster. "…I can overlook your bad behavior because you introduced me to some new clients and for that I thank you."

Jackie closed her eyes as his mouth brushed her forehead and she leaned in towards his warm body. She was acutely aware of his masculine scent – the aftershave, the light smell of Ivory soap and wondered what his kiss would taste like.

Instead, Eric's left hand brushed the outline of her jaw and teased the lobe of her ear. The motion was so incredibly intimate and heart stopping but he still hadn't kissed her!

It would have been just the easiest thing in the world to lean in and put his lips against her soft pink ones…one of the most innocent of moves, but Eric loved the feeling of power he had over the mental midget. She acted like queen of the ball and technically since they did win – she was, but that didn't mean she needed to continue the princess attitude now that the party was over.

His mouth was at her throat where he could feel her pulse beating wildly against his lips. "I want you to remember this moment." He whispered.

She whimpered and nodded her head. Eric continued by paraphrasing something Jackie had said to him earlier in the evening. "You look very beautiful tonight and I thought it was important that you know that." Both of Eric's hands were now gently holding her face.

Jackie's heart was singing, "_kissmekissme…!" _Blood was surging through her veins and all of her senses were heightened. She could hear the gentle wind tickling the leaves – she could feel the cool fall air send shivers along her skin where it lay bare.

_kissmekissmekissme_

Eric smiled at this new power – this Jedi-like power he had. "You looked incredible tonight." _Thanks for the words of advise Kelso!_

Jackie's arms snaked over his shoulders as Eric's lips hovered over hers but never touched. They shared the same warm minty breath but there was no kiss. This was more sensual than that – it was a kind of burning intensity that he'd ever experienced and he liked it.

He pressed his cheek against hers and whispered. "Thanks for being my incredible, gorgeous and smoking hot date." Then he let her go and walked back up the driveway.

With shaky limbs Jackie nearly slid off the car. She took a moment to collect herself. Could it be that Eric Forman was turning her on? What was that all about?

"Call me!" she called out hoarsely to his retreading figure.

The sound of a chuckle was all she heard before he was swallowed by the darkness of the driveway.

T7S

Eric slung his backpack over his shoulder for the long trek to the Waxman's house. This bike riding was getting old real fast. "Mom, tell Dad I'll need a ride to the bank later. I need to get that money order for the repair shop."

"Okay honey, ride safe and don't make any left turns! Ahahahaha….I made a joke." Kitty laughed.

Eric sighed and straddled to pink bicycle to find an envelope in the basket with his name on it. What was it now? A summons? Sliding a finger under the flap, he opened the envelope only to see it was the official bill from Hanks Collision Repair.

Shit.

He unfolded the paper to see the remainder of the bill and was surprised to see a red ink stamp that said:

**P A I D I N F U L L**

Under that delightful note was a handwritten statement from Jackie Burkhart.

_Dear Eric _

_Thank you for the best date and the best kiss I almost never had. I didn't know you had it in you and I think I better watch out for you Eric Forman. You can really be a heart breaker._

_Love Jackie._

_PS. The almost kiss was worth the cost of the repairs._

Eric grinned and folded the paper tucking it into his back pocket. Who knew he had it in him to change Jackie Burkhart's mind.

It was finally good to be Eric Forman!

**The End**

**A/N:** _A very special thanks to those reviewers that followed every chapter. I appreciate your input and support:_

TL22

DFT

SuperNeos2

That70sJE

Der Schatten

nannygirl

JPElles

HwonDos

A.J Scarlet

Kitsune gun

MaybeWolf

Snipersnake111 You guys were great!


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